It’s been noted many times at my Extra Special Bitter blog that I have a recurring dream of being lost, particularly in a familiar setting that rapidly deteriorates into something foreign and strange. As someone with an acute need to be in control, the feeling of getting lost is very unsettling, even – evidently – in my subconscious.
So has been the case for the past two nights, except with a twist: I’m at a party, but I’m unable to enjoy myself. I’ve somehow lost sight of someone I’m with, or something I’ve misplaced, and I’m expending my energy trying to retrace my steps and get back to where I was. I usually wake up before I accomplish this.
So compelling was my dream on Saturday morning that it picked up where it left off after I fell back to sleep. The party started out as the celebration of some product milestone at my workplace, but it became clear pretty quickly that many of the people I saw around me were not co-workers, and I was no longer in the building where the party started. People were getting very drunk, taking off their clothes and acting out. Still others were quietly spacing out. No one looked familiar to me.
…except for one person, actually a former co-worker, who was clearly intoxicated. She asked me why I couldn’t lighten up and enjoy myself, at which point I walked away.