on the nod


Any pain associated with my recent back surgery – whether it’s at the site of the synthetic cage sitting where my disc used to be, or the incision itself – has been more than effectively neutralized by a combination of prescription medications I take around the clock. While I have no doubt that these powerful drugs are helping my body to heal faster, there are some powerful side effects I couldn’t help noticing.

There was mention of constipation. Let me just say “noted”.

Other common side effects include dry mouth, euphoria and dizziness.

Dry mouth – definitely. Fortunately I already have a habit of drinking  a lot of water throughout the day, but now I also find myself waking up in the middle of the night feeling parched and in need of a refill.

Euphoria? Not even close. I had to look it up, just to make sure I wasn’t overlooking some obscure tertiary definition that fit the bill, but no dice. And no, I will not ask the doctor to increase my dosage so as to reach that happy place.

While I haven’t encountered any dizziness of the ceiling-spin variety, I’ve felt ambushed by waves of unnatural fatigue and have experienced periods of disorientation that strike me mid-sentence. I can lose several minutes in a state that resembles someone pressing the “pause” button on my brain and walking away. This most closely describes what I’m calling “on the nod” without resorting to Beat poetry. For now.

In any event, I am fully convinced that operating a car in this state is inadvisable. Even if I have only one episode of “the nods” per day – not the case, incidentally – that represents far too much risk.

Otherwise, conversation while on the nod can be frustrating, but occasionally entertaining. Picture me catching myself and noting my wife’s bemused expression, followed by asking “What did I just say?”. It’s like that.

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