how does it feel to feel?


The Creation asked the question in ’67 only to have it reiterated by Ride in ’94. Neither bothered to provide an answer. Now that I’m asking myself the same question, I can’t say I have an answer either.

Some context: after spinal fusion surgery on September 21, I was prescribed lots and lots of pain medication. After being in a fog for over 2 weeks, I started to slowly wean myself from them, taking my last Oxycontin a week ago. Since then, I’ve realized that the drugs were masking aches and pains of various kinds, all perfectly natural given the procedure, but nevertheless fairly substantial. So I guess the real question is not “how does it feel to feel?”, but rather “is it better to feel than not?” Clearly my doctor didn’t think so, and perhaps that is appropriate immediately after surgery. However, now I’m at least aware of the fact that my body has undergone a fairly dramatic change, and can conduct myself accordingly. The negative, of course, is that there’s a fairly constant discomfort and stiffness, occasionally punctuated by significant pain. Is it as bad it was before the surgery? Definitely not. But it’s there. I can feel it.

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2 Responses to how does it feel to feel?

  1. I’m sorry. I hope you feel better soon. What you had done is not a small thing and will probably take a long time to feel normal, whatever normal is. Wish you luck and a speedy recovery.

  2. I wrote this 3 months ago, and I’m actually feeling considerably better now that I’m doing physical therapy. I can’t wait until the winter ends and I can start taking long walks again. In any case, thank you for your comments!

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